My Testimony
A Change in Heart
My life didn’t always look this way. The joy, peace and love that I feel now every single day, was once rarely a part of my vocabulary.
From a young age, I suffered from severe depression, anxiety, extreme OCD, physical diseases and eating disorders. In a desperate attempt to relieve my pain, I started experimenting with pharmaceuticals. And let me tell you, I tried so many of them it makes my head spin. And all they did was make me feel dead inside. They completely changed my personality, and made me feel numb, like I was completely shut off from the world (even more than I already was). And to top it all off, I soon became addicted to them, resulting in painful withdrawals if I was to accidentally miss a dose. I experimented with therapy of all kinds, with therapists of all kinds, but nothing and no one was ever able to help me. To cope with the pain, I depended heavily on other people (friends, family, coworkers, and even my bosses) for validation, happiness and love, all of which ended in serious disappointment and heartbreak. Reverting to emotionally eating and obsessing over my appearance became my next desperate attempt to resist the anxiety that tormented my soul.
For the longest time, I thought I was a hopeless cause. “If doctors and science can’t fix me, then who can?”, I would often think to myself. I felt like a prisoner; a prisoner with zero chance of escaping.
All thanks to Jesus Christ, my life looks drastically different now.
My precipice of change began when I hit rock bottom. At the height of my depression and anxiety, I did something I had never done before. I fell to the ground, in the fetal position, and cried out to our God; our God who, at the time, I didn't know if even existed.
He responded to my prayer.
"Since the first day you began to pray for understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your request has been heard in heaven. I have come in answer to your prayer" (Daniel 10:12)
A week or two later, I met my now-husband and he introduced me to a book that changed my life; a book that also changed his life. This book taught me how to heal from all of the depression, anxiety and trauma that tormented me my entire life. If this isn't an example of divine timing, I don't know what is. God heard my prayer and, in turn, He showed me everything I needed to know to live that exciting, joyful life that He had planned for me.
After reading the book, I took action. I started by properly purifying my heart. I can't even put into words what this felt like. Feeling the Holy Spirit enter my heart and free me from the darkness that created literally every single problem in my life is so profound, I can't even put it into words. It is something you have to experience to truly understand. There are several videos that the author of the book, and priest, Christopher L. Melchizedek's has put on his YouTube, linked here. Watching the transformation in others in his videos is a motivating and inspiring treat. After purifying my heart, I started taking mindful action in life. I implemented the spiritual practices that are discussed in the book and I started building a healthier relationship with food.
My life looks completely different now. I learn more each day about what it truly takes to put on your "new self", as said in the book of Ephesians.
"Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness" (Ephesians 4:22-24)
Before I found God within me, I was a broken girl, living a painful, purposeless life.
Now, I am a mama, a wife, a homemaker, and above all else, a servant of Jesus Christ. Since I made the decision to purify my heart and follow our King, I have never looked back. His grace, peace, love and joy have changed my life more than I could have possibly imagined. I am learning more every day what it means to walk in God’s truth and grace. And, the more I walk in His truth and Grace by conquering my sins, the more my heart beats for encouraging my fellow sisters to do the same.
Whether you’re navigating sleepless nights, trying to find your identity again, feeling lost or numb, struggling with illnesses (mental or physical) or simply longing to know Jesus more deeply — you have come to the right place. Please know that a better life awaits you; the life God has planned for you awaits you. But, it is up to you to find it.
If you are new here and looking to make real changes in life, I highly recommend you first start reading the book that I have linked below, just as I did. It is a free PDF download. Then, make sure and subscribe to my blog posts, where I will provide encouragement and sisterhood. Together, we will dive into God’s Word, hold tight to His promises, and cheer one another on as we grow into the women He has called us to be — rooted, resilient, and radiant in Him.
Join me on a journey of a lifetime.
May God give you grace and peace,
Taylor
A Change in Heart
My life didn’t always look this way. The joy, peace and love that I feel now every single day, was once rarely a part of my vocabulary.
From a young age, I suffered from severe depression, anxiety, extreme OCD, physical diseases and eating disorders. In a desperate attempt to relieve my pain, I started experimenting with pharmaceuticals. And let me tell you, I tried so many of them it makes my head spin. And all they did was make me feel dead inside. They completely changed my personality, and made me feel numb, like I was completely shut off from the world (even more than I already was). And to top it all off, I soon became addicted to them, resulting in painful withdrawals if I was to accidentally miss a dose. I experimented with therapy of all kinds, with therapists of all kinds, but nothing and no one was ever able to help me. To cope with the pain, I depended heavily on other people (friends, family, coworkers, and even my bosses) for validation, happiness and love, all of which ended in serious disappointment and heartbreak. Reverting to emotionally eating and obsessing over my appearance became my next desperate attempt to resist the anxiety that tormented my soul.
For the longest time, I thought I was a hopeless cause. “If doctors and science can’t fix me, then who can?”, I would often think to myself. I felt like a prisoner; a prisoner with zero chance of escaping.
All thanks to Jesus Christ, my life looks drastically different now.
My precipice of change began when I hit rock bottom. At the height of my depression and anxiety, I did something I had never done before. I fell to the ground, in the fetal position, and cried out to our God; our God who, at the time, I didn't know if even existed.
He responded to my prayer.
"Since the first day you began to pray for understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your request has been heard in heaven. I have come in answer to your prayer" (Daniel 10:12)
A week or two later, I met my now-husband and he introduced me to a book that changed my life; a book that also changed his life. This book taught me how to heal from all of the depression, anxiety and trauma that tormented me my entire life. If this isn't an example of divine timing, I don't know what is. God heard my prayer and, in turn, He showed me everything I needed to know to live that exciting, joyful life that He had planned for me.
After reading the book, I took action. I started by properly purifying my heart. I can't even put into words what this felt like. Feeling the Holy Spirit enter my heart and free me from the darkness that created literally every single problem in my life is so profound, I can't even put it into words. It is something you have to experience to truly understand. There are several videos that the author of the book, and priest, Christopher L. Melchizedek's has put on his YouTube, linked here. Watching the transformation in others in his videos is a motivating and inspiring treat. After purifying my heart, I started taking mindful action in life. I implemented the spiritual practices that are discussed in the book and I started building a healthier relationship with food.
My life looks completely different now. I learn more each day about what it truly takes to put on your "new self", as said in the book of Ephesians.
"Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness" (Ephesians 4:22-24)
Before I found God within me, I was a broken girl, living a painful, purposeless life.
Now, I am a mama, a wife, a homemaker, and above all else, a servant of Jesus Christ. Since I made the decision to purify my heart and follow our King, I have never looked back. His grace, peace, love and joy have changed my life more than I could have possibly imagined. I am learning more every day what it means to walk in God’s truth and grace. And, the more I walk in His truth and Grace by conquering my sins, the more my heart beats for encouraging my fellow sisters to do the same.
Whether you’re navigating sleepless nights, trying to find your identity again, feeling lost or numb, struggling with illnesses (mental or physical) or simply longing to know Jesus more deeply — you have come to the right place. Please know that a better life awaits you; the life God has planned for you awaits you. But, it is up to you to find it.
If you are new here and looking to make real changes in life, I highly recommend you first start reading the book that I have linked below, just as I did. It is a free PDF download. Then, through my blog posts, my goal is to provide encouragement and sisterhood, allowing us to grow into God's hands together.
I pray that my blogs bless you and encourage you to make real and lasting changes in your life. Together, we will dive into God’s Word, hold tight to His promises, and cheer one another on as we grow into the women He has called us to be — rooted, resilient, and radiant in Him.
Join me on a journey of a lifetime.
May God give you Grace and Peace,
Taylor